Inside the dark world of sugar dating and power imbalances

As the cost of living skyrockets and economic disparities widen, a growing number of young men and women are turning to “sugar dating”—a transactional relationship where affection, companionship, and often sex, are exchanged for financial support.

But beneath the glamorous allure of luxury dinners and exotic vacations lies a darker truth: power imbalances, exploitation, and emotional manipulation that often leave these “sugar babies” vulnerable and trapped.

“It started as just a way to pay rent,” says one anonymous 24-year-old woman from Kampala, now living in an upscale apartment. She recounts how she was drawn into the world of sugar dating during her final year of university.

“He promised to take care of everything: my bills, my shopping, my travel. But over time, the demands became more extreme—both emotionally and physically.”

For Jane Kusaasira (not her real name), a 22-year-old university student from Masaka, the appeal of sugar dating seemed irresistible. “I was struggling with tuition and everyday expenses. He seemed like a solution,” she says, referring to the 48-year-old businessman who became her “sponsor.”

At first, the arrangement was simple—lavish dinners and shopping sprees in exchange for companionship. However, as time went on, her sponsor began making increasingly invasive demands, from limiting her social circle to dictating what she wore.

“It was no longer about helping me, it was about controlling me,” Jane recalls.

This transactional arrangement, seemingly consensual, is becoming more complex. Experts warn that many sugar babies find themselves in a gray area where consent and coercion blur.

“These relationships often begin with a sense of empowerment, but they can quickly evolve into situations where the person being supported feels obligated or pressured into doing things they’re uncomfortable with,” explains Dr. Alice Nambi, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationship dynamics.

“What starts as a financial arrangement can turn into emotional manipulation, where one party holds all the power.”

Another anonymous sugar baby, a 27-year-old man from Nairobi, reveals how his “sugar mommy” slowly escalated her demands beyond companionship.

“At first, it was just dinners and trips, but then it became controlling. She would monitor who I was with, what I was doing, and would get angry if I didn’t respond to her messages immediately.”

He says the relationship, once liberating, became suffocating. “She made it clear that if I didn’t comply, the money would stop.”

Similarly, another victim who preferred anonymity, a 30-year-old professional from Entebbe, initially thought her arrangement was a way to boost her income while maintaining her independence.

“I thought I was in control,” she says. But soon, the man she was seeing started demanding more of her time and attention, becoming jealous when she spent time with friends.

“It became exhausting. I had to prioritize him over everything because I was scared of losing the financial support,” she explains, adding that it started to affect her mental health.

The appeal of sugar dating, fueled by social media influencers flaunting their lavish lifestyles, is undeniable. But the hidden emotional costs are rarely discussed. One young woman, a university student, explains how she found herself in over her head.

“You think you’re in control because they’re paying you, but in reality, they’re the ones calling all the shots,” she says, recounting how her sugar daddy began dictating her choices—from how she dressed to who she could see.

Dr. Nambi warns that this dynamic can have long-term psychological effects. “When financial dependency becomes intertwined with intimacy, the sugar baby often loses autonomy. This can lead to emotional abuse and, in extreme cases, even depression or anxiety.” She urges young people to understand the risks behind these seemingly glamorous arrangements.

As sugar dating continues to rise, especially among students and young professionals struggling with financial pressure, many are left questioning whether the price of financial support is worth the emotional toll.